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Aggregating and archiving news from both sides of the aisle.

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Facebook Suspended Trump’s Account. Then He Gained Almost 150,000 ‘Likes.’

Preview: Since Facebook suspended President Trump’s account on January 7,  the day after rioters breached the U.S. Capitol, Trump’s Facebook page has gained almost 150,000 new “likes,” according to Newsweek. Newsweek, citing data compiled by the U.S. analytics company Social Blade, also noted that in that same period, Trump’s YouTube channel, which was later suspended, picked up roughly […]

‘Wholly Un-American’: Ocasio-Cortez Slammed For Advocating Congressional Clamp Down On Media

Preview: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is facing backlash for saying this week that she has discussed media literacy initiatives with members of Congress to “rein in” reporting that is either misinformation or disinformation. Ocasio-Cortez made the remarks during an Instagram Live video in response to the following question: “Any discussion in Congress about federal truth and […]

Rose McGowan: Impeachment Is ‘Cult Propaganda’

Preview: Actress and #MeToo activist Rose McGowan, continuing her criticism against the Democratic Party establishment, scolded the party she once called home for pushing the impeachment of President Donald Trump while Americans suffer during a pandemic. In a tweet on Thursday, McGowan simply denounced the impeachment effort as “cult propaganda.” “This impeachment is Cult propaganda. A […]

Wyoming Republican Party Slams Liz Cheney Over Recent Vote, Remarks On Trump Impeachment

Preview: The Wyoming Republican Party slammed Rep. Liz Cheney (R-WY) in a statement on Thursday over her recent remarks and vote to impeach President Donald Trump following a riot that broke out at the U.S. Capitol Building last week. “On January 6, 2021 a violent mob attacked the United States Capitol to obstruct the process of […]

Pence Visits National Guard Troops At Capitol To Thank Them

Preview: Vice President Mike Pence paid an unscheduled visit to the National Guard troops stationed outside the Capitol on Thursday evening to thank them for guarding the seat of Congress amid the unrest in Washington, D.C. “I’m your vice president, but I used to be a governor, so I’ve got a special place in my heart […]

Mexico’s Left-Wing President Mounts International Campaign Taking On Tech Companies After Trump Bans

Preview: Left-wing Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador reportedly vowed to take on tech companies on Thursday in response to the bans that President Donald Trump has faced on social media. “I can tell you that at the first G20 meeting we have, I am going to make a proposal on this issue,” López Obrador said. […]

Left-Wing ‘Known Agitator’ Charged For Alleged Role In Capitol Breach

Preview: A left-wing “known agitator” from Utah was charged Thursday for his alleged participation in the breach of the U.S. Capitol last week. John Earle Sullivan has been charged with entering a restricted building or grounds, “civil disorders,” and violent entry or disorderly conduct, reported to KUTV 2 News. The Daily Caller News Foundation’s Chuck Ross […]

Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez Slated To Participate In Inauguration Ceremony

Preview: Singers Lady Gaga and Jennifer Lopez will offer their musical talent to the inauguration ceremonies for President-elect Joe Biden next week, according to the Presidential Inauguration Committee. Lady Gaga, who will sing the national anthem, campaigned for Biden in the general election and has participated in activism for causes such as mental health, LGBT rights, […]

Debunking ‘Shouting Fire In A Crowded Theater’ Once And For All

Preview: In early January, CNN anchors Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo “got into a back and forth” over whether or not shouting “fire” in a crowded theater is a crime, while discussing the limitations of First Amendment rights. “[The First Amendment] doesn’t allow you, as a Supreme Court justice said, the First Amendment is not designed […]

Mother Who Let Toddler Decide Their Own Gender States She’s Been Accused Of Child Abuse

Preview: A mother of a 4-year-old child who refuses to disclose whether the child is a biological boy or girl and claims she let the child decide their own gender has stated that she has been accused of child abuse. The mother, Kyl Myers, Ph.D., a native of Utah who moved to Australia, wrote in MamaMia, […]

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Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day...

Preview: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... (Top headline, 1st story, link) Related stories: Expecting trouble, DC locks down... Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... Trust between lawmakers all-time low... Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... Dozens on terror list... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

Expecting trouble, DC locks down...

Preview: Expecting trouble, DC locks down... (Top headline, 2nd story, link) Related stories: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... Trust between lawmakers all-time low... Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... Dozens on terror list... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats...

Preview: Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... (Top headline, 3rd story, link) Related stories: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... Expecting trouble, DC locks down... National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... Trust between lawmakers all-time low... Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... Dozens on terror list... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force...

Preview: National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... (Top headline, 4th story, link) Related stories: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... Expecting trouble, DC locks down... Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... Trust between lawmakers all-time low... Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... Dozens on terror list... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack...

Preview: Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... (Top headline, 5th story, link) Related stories: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... Expecting trouble, DC locks down... Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... Trust between lawmakers all-time low... Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... Dozens on terror list... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

Trust between lawmakers all-time low...

Preview: Trust between lawmakers all-time low... (Top headline, 6th story, link) Related stories: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... Expecting trouble, DC locks down... Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... Dozens on terror list... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops...

Preview: Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... (Top headline, 7th story, link) Related stories: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... Expecting trouble, DC locks down... Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... Trust between lawmakers all-time low... Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... Dozens on terror list... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials...

Preview: Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... (Top headline, 8th story, link) Related stories: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... Expecting trouble, DC locks down... Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... Trust between lawmakers all-time low... Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... Dozens on terror list... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'...

Preview: Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... (Top headline, 9th story, link) Related stories: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... Expecting trouble, DC locks down... Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... Trust between lawmakers all-time low... Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... Dozens on terror list... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

Dozens on terror list...

Preview: Dozens on terror list... (Top headline, 10th story, link) Related stories: Entire National Mall to close on Inauguration Day... Expecting trouble, DC locks down... Biden rehearsal postponed due to threats... National Guard Authorized to Use Lethal Force... Congress Casts Wary Eye Inward for Answers on Attack... Trust between lawmakers all-time low... Rioters included highly trained ex-military and cops... Meant to 'capture and assassinate' officials... Some who stormed Hill insist, 'What I did was journalism'... FBI tells police chiefs nationwide to be on high alert... Pelosi's missing laptop at center of QAnon's latest conspiracies... Large bitcoin payments linked to foreign account... Impeachment II Deepens Republican Divide... President Struggles to Build Legal Team... Trial could start next week... Unclear who will preside... McConnell to school The Don on power... Bannon Back in the Fold...

Top Stories
First blizzard of the season hits the Midwest

Preview: The first blizzard of 2021 is cranking up across the Midwest, bringing widespread snow and strong winds.

Air Force vet seen in Capitol with zip ties intended 'to take hostages,' prosecutor says

Preview: A retired U.S. Air Force lieutenant colonel photographed carrying zip-tie handcuffs inside the Capitol during last week’s riot planned to take hostages, a federal prosecutor said Thursday.

Killer of Amber Hagerman, who inspired Amber Alert system, still being sought 25 years later

Preview: Authorities in Texas this week expressed renewed hope that new DNA technologies could lead them to solve the cold case murder of Amber Hagerman, the girl who inspired the Amber Alert system.

‘QAnon Shaman’ Capitol rioter wants pardon from Trump

Preview: The attorney representing the so-called “QAnon Shaman” who stormed the US Capitol in a bizarre getup says President Trump should pardon his client before he leaves office next week.

New York City bus crashes through barrier, dangles from overpass; 9 injuries reported

Preview: At least nine people were hurt in New York City on Thursday night when an "accordion-style" city bus went off the road, crashed a barrier and partially dangled off an expressway overpass.

Corey Johnson, Virginia killer of 7, executed after SCOTUS coronavirus ruling

Preview: A drug trafficker sentenced to die for his ties to seven murders in Virginia in 1992 was executed Thursday night in Indiana after a U.S. Supreme Court ruling on his coronavirus diagnosis cleared the way for his death, according to reports.

This Day in History: Jan. 15

Preview: The Green Bay Packers of the National Football League defeat the Kansas City Chiefs of the American Football League 35-10 in the first AFL-NFL World Championship Game, which would become known as Super Bowl I.

California's Erbes Fire burns across 250 acres, prompting evacuations

Preview: Evacuations were underway in California on Thursday evening as firefighters battled a wildfire that ignited in the Los Angeles-area city of Thousand Oaks.

North Carolina nurse who works in COVID-19 unit wins $1 million prize

Preview: A North Carolina nurse who works in a COVID-19 unit at a long-term care facility has won a $1 million prize, the state lottery said.

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The Moneyist: Why do I need to wear a mask if I’ve had COVID-19? Who is it protecting? Can I really be reinfected?

Preview: ‘Like everyone else, I am hoping that the vaccine will help infection rates, and more people can get back to work.’

Economic Report: Higher gas prices drive up U.S. wholesale inflation

Preview: U.S. wholesale prices rose in December mostly because of an increase in the cost of gasoline, but there was little evidence of rapidly building inflation in the innards of the economy. The producer price index increased 0.4% last month.

NewsWatch: Value stocks are about to come out of their coma, says index fund powerhouse Vanguard

Preview: Now may be the time for value stocks to outperform, says Vanguard Group.

Realtor.com: Take a look inside Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen’s Massachusetts mansion

Preview: NFL great Tom Brady has finally offloaded his Massachusetts mansion. The quarterback and his wife, supermodel Gisele Bündchen, have sold their luxe Brookline estate, according to the Boston Globe.

Market Snapshot: U.S. stock futures lower as big banks kick off earnings season, Biden announces new aid plan

Preview: U.S. stock-index futures lose ground Friday after President-elect Joe Biden announced a $1.9 trillion COVID-19 relief plan and investors prepared for the kickoff of corporate earnings season.

: Virtual reality made me want to get into bed with Glenn Close — how it could change storytelling forever

Preview: The short VR film Baba Yaga, released on Facebook's Oculus headsets, shows off the new medium's narrative potential

: How much money was President Trump’s Twitter account worth?

Preview: Shares in the social-media company fell 6% Monday. ‘Most advertisers won’t touch anything Trump related,' one analyst said.

: This U.S. state has the most cities with the best-paid jobs — with one big catch

Preview: U.S. News and World Report released the list this week after reviewing Bureau of Labor Statistics salary data.

Economic Report: U.S. retail sales sink for third straight month as pandemic pounds economy again

Preview: Sales at U.S. retailers fell in December for the third month in a row as the record deluge of coronavirus cases opened freshly wounds in the economy. Retail sales dropped 0.7 % last month.

: Black and Hispanic communities say doctors and hospitals treat them differently to their white counterparts

Preview: COVID-19 has hit Black and Hispanic communities especially hard.

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Here’s Why ‘Dickinson’ Stuck Toby Huss in a Hole

Preview: The inside story, if you will.

‘WandaVision’ Episode 1 Recap: “Honeymoons Are for the Lucky”

Preview: It takes a lot more than an ottoman to trip up The Vision.

Sarah Paulson wishes ‘perfect’ girlfriend Holland Taylor a happy birthday

Preview: Sarah Paulson, 46, and Holland Taylor, 78, have been in a relationship since 2015.

‘RHONY’ Shuts Down After Cast Member Tests Positive for COVID-19

Preview: According to Page Six, the unidentified cast member has "mild symptoms."

Yankees getting closer to DJ LeMahieu deal

Preview: The staredown is nearly over. The Yankees and DJ LeMahieu are nearing a contract to keep the smooth-swinging infielder in The Bronx, MLB.com reported. The terms of the deal are not yet known, but it could be completed by the end of the day. LeMahieu, 32, has been a force since the Yankees signed him...

Mossimo Giannulli wants out of prison, calls conditions ‘extreme’

Preview: Mossimo Giannulli is begging a judge to spring him from prison — saying his eight weeks in solitary confinement was “extreme” punishment for his role in the college admissions scam, according to newly filed court documents. The husband of “Full House” actress Lori Loughlin filed an emergency motion Thursday seeking permission to serve out the...

Mario Lopez, Tiffani Thiessen react to Dustin Diamond’s cancer diagnosis

Preview: The "Saved by the Bell" stars have started reaching out to Diamond.

What Time Will ‘WandaVision’ Episode 3 Premiere on Disney+?

Preview: Here's when you'll be able to stream the next far out episode of Marvel's trippy sitcom.

Person fatally jumps from Upper East Side apartment building

Preview: A person fatally jumped from a luxury apartment building on the Upper East Side early Friday, authorities said.  The victim plunged from the 14-story prewar building on Park Avenue near East 65th Street just after 5 a.m., cops said.  The person, who was not immediately identified, was pronounced dead on scene.  Police are at the...

Why ‘Bling Empire’ star Cherie Chan was skeptical to join Netflix series

Preview: Not everybody is excited to jump into reality TV.

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Refusal to Vaccinate Children Can Count Against Parent in Custody Battle,

Preview: even when the parents had originally agreed not to vaccinate.

Republicans Can No Longer Deny the Reality of Donald Trump

Preview: It can be hard to see what's in front of you, especially when you're struggling not to see it.

Does the Chief Justice Preside over an Ex-President's Impeachment Trial?

Preview: Conflicting signals from the Belknap impeachment

Review: Promising Young Woman

Preview: More violence, please.

Today in Supreme Court History: January 15, 1908

Preview: 1/15/1908: Muller v. Oregon argued.

Meddling in the Ballot Box

Preview: As long as there have been American elections, foreign powers have sought to influence them.

Brickbat: Professional Courtesy

Preview: Norwalk, Connecticut, police officers Michel Dimeglio and Sara Laudano have been charged with larceny and reckless endangerment after their supervisors found them together in a hotel room while both were on duty. The department had been looking for Laudano after dispatch could not reach her on the radio or on her cellphone. The department's vehicle…

Thursday Open Thread

Preview: Please feel free to write comments on this post on whatever topic you like! (As usual, please avoid personal insults of each other, vulgarities aimed at each other or at third parties, or other things that are likely to poison the discussion.)

Biden's $1.9 Trillion COVID Relief Package Includes More Stimulus Checks, State Government Bailout, $15 Federal Minimum Wage

Preview: On the brighter side, Biden wants 100 million vaccinations in 100 days and will push for immediate school reopenings.

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Norway adjusts advice after vaccine deaths but isn't alarmed

Preview: COPENHAGEN, Denmark (AP) - Norwegian officials have adjusted their advice on who gets the COVID-19 vaccine in light of a small number of deaths in older people, leaving it up to each doctor to consider who should be vaccinated. The Norwegian Medicines Agency on Thursday reported a total of ...

Biden announces former FDA head David Kessler as chief science officer for vaccine drive to stop spr

Preview: WASHINGTON (AP) - Biden announces former FDA head David Kessler as chief science officer for vaccine drive to stop spread of coronavirus.

UK imposes travel restrictions amid worries of new variant

Preview: LONDON (AP) - Britain’s government has banned travel from South America and Portugal to ensure a new variant of COVID-19 found in Brazil doesn’t derail the country’s vaccination program, although there are no signs the variant has reached the U.K. Transport Secretary Grant Shapps said the ban, which took effect ...

JPMorgan's profits jump as economy, investment bank recovers

Preview: CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) - JPMorgan Chase & Co., the nation's largest bank by assets, said its fourth quarter profits jumped by 42% from a year earlier, as the firm's investment banking division had a stellar quarter and its balance sheet improved despite the pandemic. The New York-based bank said ...

Winter storm creating blizzard conditions, closing roads

Preview: MINNEAPOLIS (AP) - A slow-moving winter storm with gusty winds is whipping up blizzard conditions and causing hazardous travel in southwestern Minnesota and northeastern South Dakota. The National Weather Service issued a blizzard warning for the region until 6 p.m. Friday. Winds of 30 mph and gusting as high ...

Billionaire right-wing patron Adelson buried in Jerusalem

Preview: JERUSALEM (AP) - Sheldon Adelson, the billionaire casino magnate who made prolific donations to right-wing politicians and causes in the United States and Israel, was laid to rest in Jerusalem on Friday. Adelson, a key supporter of President Donald Trump, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and their hawkish approach to ...

Joe Biden picks Deanne Criswell for FEMA, David Cohen for CIA deputy director

Preview: WASHINGTON (AP) — President-elect Joe Biden is nominating New York emergency department commissioner Deanne Criswell to serve as the Federal Emergency Management Agency administrator and has tapped former CIA deputy director David Cohen to return to the agency in the same role he served during the Obama administration. The picks, ...

Auckland City out of Club World Cup, cites NZ virus measures

Preview: ZURICH (AP) - Coronavirus restrictions in New Zealand have caused next month’s Club World Cup to shrink from seven teams to six. Auckland City told FIFA on Friday it could no longer represent Oceania at the tournament in Qatar because of the “COVID-19 pandemic and related quarantine measures required by ...

Another recession looms for UK economy as lockdowns bite

Preview: LONDON (AP) - The British economy looks set to fall back into recession after official figures on Friday showed that it shrank by 2.6% month-on-month in November, when much of the country was in a second coronavirus lockdown. The Office for National Statistics said that as a result of the ...

Syrian Air makes 1st Aleppo to Beirut flight since 2011

Preview: BEIRUT (AP) - Syrian Air conducted its first flight in a decade between the northern city of Aleppo and Lebanon’s capital Beirut early Friday, resuming a round-trip route that's been halted since Syria’s conflict began in 2011. Precautionary measures against the coronavirus were in place, with passengers required to show ...

Top Stories
Millions Kicked Out Of Heaven Following Enforcement Of New Diversity Quota

Preview: HEAVEN—In a positive step towards diversity, innumerable souls have been cast out of heaven and are now burning for eternity in the unfathomable chasms of Hell. This purging of souls into the scorching abyss came in accordance with brand new heavenly diversity requirements. The post Millions Kicked Out Of Heaven Following Enforcement Of New Diversity Quota appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Conservative Homeschool Families Prep For Next Four Years By Adding Armor Plating, Gatling Guns To 15-Passenger Vans

Preview: U.S.—For many conservative Christian homeschool families, there are dark times ahead because Biden is a socialist who sniffs people and wants to hurt God. To prepare for the next four dangerous years, many large families are adding armor plating and Gatling guns to their 15 passenger club vans.  The post Conservative Homeschool Families Prep For Next Four Years By Adding Armor Plating, Gatling Guns To 15-Passenger Vans appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Nightmare: Here Is The Democrats' Complete Legislative Agenda For The Next 2 Years

Preview: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats have released a complete list of all their legislative goals for the next 2 years, and it's worse than we imagined. America may not survive. Brace yourself and read through this confirmed list which we got straight from the Speaker's office, and may God help us all.  The post Nightmare: Here Is The Democrats' Complete Legislative Agenda For The Next 2 Years appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Trump To Be Digitally Edited Out Of 'The Apprentice' Reruns

Preview: NEW YORK, NY—After last week's attack on the Capitol that Trump obviously planned and personally ordered, NBC has announced that all future reruns of the hit reality show The Apprentice will digitally remove Trump from all scenes. The post Trump To Be Digitally Edited Out Of 'The Apprentice' Reruns appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

20,000 Troops In D.C. For Inauguration Said To Not Be Enough To Stop Trump's Battlemech

Preview: WASHINGTON D.C.—Preparations are underway to make sure there will be a peaceful transition of power on January 20th. That has included sending 20,000 National Guard troops to D.C, though most think this will be inadequate to stop Donald Trump from ruining the event with his one-hundred-ton, fully armed battlemech. The post 20,000 Troops In D.C. For Inauguration Said To Not Be Enough To Stop Trump's Battlemech appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Out-Of-Work Waitress Excited To See Congress Spend Time Impeaching Trump Again

Preview: SAINT PAUL, MN—With Democrats in control of Congress, Americans are looking forward to seeing their elected representatives put the needs of the American people first. Democrats have responded by pursuing the one thing every American affected by devastating lockdowns needs: another Trump impeachment. The post Out-Of-Work Waitress Excited To See Congress Spend Time Impeaching Trump Again appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Pence Rolls Out Ambitious Agenda For First 100 Minutes In Office

Preview: President-Possibly-Elect Mike Pence has set out a bold agenda for his first 100 minutes in office, should Trump be removed. The Babylon Bee’s elite squadron of investigative journalists has obtained Pence’s handwritten, minute by minute breakdown of his plans: The post Pence Rolls Out Ambitious Agenda For First 100 Minutes In Office appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

In Brilliant 4D Chess Move, Trump Tricks Media Into Condemning Riots

Preview: WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump, whose genius is only surpassed by his incredible stability, has pulled one over on the mainstream media once again. In a brilliant move that only he could've come up with, he has tricked the media into condemning riots by starting one himself. The post In Brilliant 4D Chess Move, Trump Tricks Media Into Condemning Riots appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Pelosi Cancels Impeachment Press Conference After Remembering She Doesn't Have A Podium

Preview: WASHINGTON, D.C.—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been forced to cancel her upcoming impeachment press conference after she suddenly realized she doesn't have a podium anymore. The post Pelosi Cancels Impeachment Press Conference After Remembering She Doesn't Have A Podium appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Initiative: Kamala Harris Stays Up Late Working Ahead On Biden’s 25th Amendment Proceedings

Preview: WASHINGTON, D.C.—It’s still a week until the inauguration, but Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris is ready to get down to business. The first item on the agenda: invoke the 25th Amendment and declare Joe Biden incapacitated and make herself acting president. The post Initiative: Kamala Harris Stays Up Late Working Ahead On Biden’s 25th Amendment Proceedings appeared first on The Babylon Bee.