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Aggregating and archiving news from both sides of the aisle.

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Plumber Finds Secret Cash Stash In Joel Osteen’s Church  

Preview: According to officials at Joel Osteen’s Houston megachurch, a plumber recently found envelopes full of cash and checks behind a toilet while he was doing repairs. The man, identified only as “Justin,” called into country music station 100.3 The Bull Thursday to tell the strange story of making the discovery of the stash on November […]

Survey: CEOs Are Far More Eager About ‘Corporate Wokeness’ Than Consumers

Preview: A new poll reveals that business leaders are “out of step” with the public on speaking about social issues. After polling executives and voters, The Brunswick Group found significant disparity between the two groups: Only a minority of voters (36%) agree unequivocally that companies should speak out on social issues, compared to 63% of corporate […]

‘My Question Was About Xi’: Peter Doocy Protests While Jen Psaki Circles Back To Question About Crime

Preview: Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy pushed back Friday when press secretary Jen Psaki circled back to an earlier question about crime rather than directly answering his immediate question about Chinese President Xi Jinping. Doocy brought up the continuing investigation into the origins of the coronavirus and asked Psaki whether or not President Xi had […]

Bank Of America Warns Employees To ‘Dress Down,’ Avoid Rise In New York City Assaults

Preview: In order to avoid a surge in assaults, Bank of America told their New York City employees to “dress down.” According to The New York Post, Bank of America’s warning occurs as monthly felony assaults in the city have risen year-over-year by 15%, while murder has increased by 42% over the past two years. The […]

Oxford High School Appears To Have Used Controversial ‘Restorative’ Discipline Practices Prior To School Shooting

Preview: On Tuesday, November 30, a 15-year-old boy allegedly used a firearm belonging to his father to open fire on classmates, killing four students. The morning of the attack, school administrators met with the boy’s parents and showed them disturbing notes found that day indicating the boy was willing to do harm to himself and others. […]

Detroit Lions To Honor Oxford High School Shooting Victims On Sunday

Preview: The NFL’s Detroit Lions announced on Friday that the franchise will honor victims during Sunday’s game from Tuesday’s shooting at Michigan’s Oxford High School that killed four students and injured seven other people. The Lions will wear a special decal on player helmets in addition to team members wearing special hats and shirts to honor […]

Fugitive Team ‘Actively’ Searching For Parents Of Suspected Oxford High School Shooter; Attorney For Parents Denies They’re Fleeing

Preview: Police are searching for the parents of the suspected Oxford High School shooter Friday after a county prosecutor issued charges against the couple on four counts of involuntary manslaughter following the deaths of four students and seven others who were injured on Tuesday. Judge Julie Nicholson approved a warrant on Friday to take the couple […]

Family Of Oxford High School Shooting Victim Justin Shilling: ‘Our Hearts Are Broken’

Preview: The family of Oxford High School shooting victim Justin Shilling released a statement on Friday regarding the death of their son who was one of four students killed along with seven injured during a tragic shooting on Tuesday in Michigan. The statement was shared with multiple outlets in Michigan and nationwide on Friday to honor […]

Biden Approval Among Young Democrats, Independents Sees Double-Digit Drop: Poll

Preview: A recent Harvard poll found that Joe Biden’s approval rating among young people has fallen 13 points since spring, with his overall disapproval rate now at 51%. He saw a double-digit drop among Democrats and Independents. The poll, conducted by Harvard Public Opinion Project, surveyed adults ages 18-29 about a number of key political opinions. […]

‘Bats*** Lunacy’: Ben Shapiro Gives 17-Point Response To NYT Op-Ed Justifying Abortion Citing ‘Trauma’ Of Adoption

Preview: Daily Wire editor emeritus Ben Shapiro ripped apart a Friday op-ed in The New York Times which sought to justify abortion citing the difficulty and trauma of adoption. Democratic digital strategist Elizabeth Spiers wrote a piece in the Times published on Friday arguing that the process of adoption is “infinitely more difficult, expensive, dangerous and […]

Top Stories
Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes...

Preview: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... (Top headline, 1st story, link) Related stories: Huge miss... Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... Hits LA... Nebraska 6th state with case... 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... Study suggests past infection may not fend off... MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

Huge miss...

Preview: Huge miss... (Top headline, 2nd story, link) Related stories: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... Hits LA... Nebraska 6th state with case... 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... Study suggests past infection may not fend off... MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH...

Preview: Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... (Top headline, 3rd story, link) Related stories: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... Huge miss... OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... Hits LA... Nebraska 6th state with case... 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... Study suggests past infection may not fend off... MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA...

Preview: OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... (Top headline, 4th story, link) Related stories: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... Huge miss... Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... Hits LA... Nebraska 6th state with case... 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... Study suggests past infection may not fend off... MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

Hits LA...

Preview: Hits LA... (Top headline, 5th story, link) Related stories: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... Huge miss... Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... Nebraska 6th state with case... 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... Study suggests past infection may not fend off... MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

Nebraska 6th state with case...

Preview: Nebraska 6th state with case... (Top headline, 6th story, link) Related stories: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... Huge miss... Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... Hits LA... 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... Study suggests past infection may not fend off... MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5...

Preview: 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... (Top headline, 7th story, link) Related stories: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... Huge miss... Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... Hits LA... Nebraska 6th state with case... Study suggests past infection may not fend off... MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

Study suggests past infection may not fend off...

Preview: Study suggests past infection may not fend off... (Top headline, 8th story, link) Related stories: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... Huge miss... Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... Hits LA... Nebraska 6th state with case... 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate...

Preview: MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... (Top headline, 9th story, link) Related stories: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... Huge miss... Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... Hits LA... Nebraska 6th state with case... 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... Study suggests past infection may not fend off... SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline...

Preview: SHOWDOWN: Thousands of Sailors, Marines Unvaxxed After Deadline... (Top headline, 10th story, link) Related stories: Job growth disappoints in Nov despite high hopes... Huge miss... Record-High Number of Covid Cases In NH... OMICRON SPREADING TWICE AS FAST AS DELTA... Hits LA... Nebraska 6th state with case... 'Unprecedented' Surge of Children Under 5... Study suggests past infection may not fend off... MASKS FOREVER? Oregon considers permanent mandate... Over 23,500 airmen, guardians say no... Positive test prompts National Guard chief to self-isolate... LOCKDOWN FOR UNJABBED IN GERMANY... UK ROLLING OUT 4TH SHOT! Move to create global 'pandemic treaty'...

Top Stories
School shooting suspect Ethan Crumbley's returning after manhunt underway, lawyers say

Preview: Michigan authorities are asking the public to be on the lookout for the parents of Oxford High School shooting suspect Ethan Crumbley.

New Jersey Republican lawmakers defy COVID-19 vaccine mandate

Preview: Disorder and confusion erupted in the halls outside the New Jersey Assembly on Thursday as several Republican lawmakers defied a new requirement to show proof of COVID-19 vaccination or a negative test and were blocked by state troopers— albeit briefly — from entering the ornate chamber.

Ryan Rogers murder: Suspected killer's apparent YouTube page reveals troubled past

Preview: A disturbing and bizarre YouTube Channel attributed to Semmie Williams, the 39-year-old “homeless drifter” accused in the seemingly random stabbing death of 14-year-old Ryan Rogers of Palm Beach Gardens, appears to showcase the suspect’s severe paranoia and mental health issues.

Michigan school shooting: Ethan Crumbley’s parents facing involuntary manslaughter charges

Preview: The parents of the teen suspect accused of killing four students after opening fire inside a Michigan high school earlier this week are now facing involuntary manslaughter charges as prosecutors on Friday revealed text messages they allegedly sent to their son before and after the attack.

Chicago women punched, shoved in string of robberies over 25-minute period, police said

Preview: Three women were robbed and at times assaulted in separate incidents over the course of 25 minutes in Chicago’s Lakeview, police said Friday.

Three victims in Hollywood follow-home robbery held at gunpoint

Preview: Three victims of a follow-home robbery in North Hollywood were held at gunpoint as suspects stole their money and watches, according to authorities.

Lateche Norris: Video shows missing Indiana woman, 20, last seen at California 7-Eleven

Preview: Lateche Norris, a 20-year-old from Indiana, flew across the country last month for what she believed would be a few days of "roughing it" on a California beach with her boyfriend Joseph Smith, her mother wrote on social media -- and found him in a homeless camp.

Wisconsin condo residents forced out of their homes due to structural damage

Preview: A six-story condominium building has been evacuated in a Milwaukee suburb after engineers found the structure was in imminent danger of collapsing.

Autism affects 1 in 44 US children, CDC data suggests

Preview: Numbers released Thursday by researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) revealed that more children in the U.S. are being diagnosed with autism at younger ages.

China and US at odds over Biden's 'Summit for Democracy'

Preview: China and the United States are tussling over President Joe Biden’s upcoming democracy summit, which the ruling Communist Party sees as a challenge to its authoritarian ways.

Top Stories
NewsWatch: Insider buying says a Santa Claus rally is on the way — here are 10 stocks they favor

Preview: Hang on to your stock-market exposure and add more if you can. The twin fears spooking investors – the omicron COVID strain and inflation – are overdone.

The Escape Home: A crystal ball to make sense of the real-estate market right now

Preview: Realtors are describing the second-home market as "stuck."

The Margin: Tesla’s $1,900 ‘Cyberquad’ EV for kids sold out, restocked and sold out again

Preview: The all-electric ATV was inspired by Tesla's Cybertruck

CityWatch: Slowly, tentatively, remote working gives way to in-person again

Preview: At a company that launched during the pandemic, employees went to the office and met for the first time. Some of them were surprisingly tall.

: Save your receipts! Biden’s plan for free and easy at-home COVID-19 tests may not be as simple as it sounds

Preview: ‘Like everything we do in health care in America, we make it complicated,' one expert said.

The Ratings Game: Nvidia stock flirts with correction territory after FTC sues to halt Arm deal

Preview: Nvidia Corp. shares flirted with a correction Friday, a day after the chip maker's chances for closing its acquisition of chip designer Arm Ltd. dwindled even further.

The Wall Street Journal: CEO of world’s biggest hedge fund nears decision on Senate run in Pennsylvania against Dr. Oz

Preview: Bridgewater Associates Chief Executive David McCormick told staff Thursday that he was considering resigning to run for U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania, and that he planned to decide within the next few weeks, said people familiar with the matter.

Bond Report: Long-dated Treasury yields post their biggest weekly declines since June 2020 as U.S. adds just 210,000 jobs in November

Preview: Yields for U.S. government debt turned lower Friday as data show a disappointing 210,000 jobs added in November.

Financial Crime: Two hackers charged with hacking a Missouri tech firm’s cloud-computing account — and racking up $760K in server charges

Preview: Mining crypto requires large amounts of computing power to drive the complicated algorithms used to generate the currency.

Top Stories
Fearful Brooklyn high school students arming themselves for protection

Preview: Students at a Brooklyn high school awash in weapons said they are arming themselves due to growing safety concerns both in and out of the classroom.

Where to Watch ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ Online In 2021

Preview: "Charlie Brown is a blockhead, but he did get a nice tree."

Stream It Or Skip It: ‘The Rescue’ on Disney+, A Riveting Doc About Saving The Thai Soccer Team Trapped In A Cave

Preview: The Rescue chronicles the efforts of an unlikely team of civilian cave diversto save a group of boys trapped in a waterlogged cave system.

Woman with ‘the world’s biggest lips’ is getting even more injections

Preview: The 24-year-old hopes the injections — she'll have her 27th round of fillers over the holidays — will help her look more like a Bratz doll.

The 6 best Christmas pop-up bars in NYC for the 2021 holiday season

Preview: NYC watering holes are decking the halls for a new season of festive pop-up bars with jaw-dropping decorations and over-the-top specialty cocktails.

Staten Island couple awarded $10 million after botched hysterectomy

Preview: A Staten Island woman and her husband were awarded a $10 million verdict Thursday after she underwent a botched hysterectomy that left her incontinent, in agony and unable to have sex.

Crumbley parents face rare, but not unprecedented, charges in Michigan school shooting

Preview: Charges against parents of the children who commit school shootings are rare, but the Crumbleys aren't the first to be held accountable by the law for children who commit crimes.

Rare blizzard warning in Hawaii as up to 12 inches of snow expected

Preview: A rare blizzard warning has been issued for the Big Island of Hawaii, with a large amount of snow anticipated.

Kim Kardashian denies dissing ex-BFF Larsa Pippen over ‘RHOM’ comparison

Preview: Some Instagram users thought Kardashian's "steal your recipe" caption was a response to Pippen being called "the new Kim Kardashian" in the "Housewives" trailer.

Chipotle is selling cilantro-infused soap — but it’s already sold out

Preview: Cilantro recently added a cilantro-infused soap from their brand store, instigating the age-old argument over the soap-like taste of the culinary herb.

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School Districts Are Using Their COVID-19 Relief Money on Vape Detectors, Tennis Courts

Preview: "Some districts are investing big money in initiatives that don't appear at first glance strictly COVID-related."

Here Is Why a Federal Judge Blocked Enforcement of the Texas Social Media Law

Preview: Gov. Greg Abbott attacks First Amendment rights in the name of defending them.

Short Circuit: A Roundup of Recent Federal Court Decisions

Preview: Mask mandates, high-capacity magazines, and debauchery.

You Matched That $100,000 Reason Webathon Grant, So Now Here's Another Matching $50,000 Grant!

Preview: Double the power of your giving today, and take us to $420,000.

"As The Yale Law School World Turns": "The … Soap Opera Continues"

Preview: As I mentioned before, it's inside baseball, but it's about a tremendous important inside institution—and it's by David Lat, so it's as usual a great pleasure to read, which you can do for free here. A taste of the new stuff, though this item is about an Above The Law reaction to something at Yale…

Joe Biden Puts a Happy Gloss on Disappointing Jobs Report

Preview: Economists predicted that we'd see 575,000 new jobs in November. A new Bureau of Labor Statistics report says only 210,000 were created.

Familiar School Comedy Hijinks Updated for Today in Abbott Elementary

Preview: Also intact: The whipsawing between cynicism and earnestness

Plumber Finds $600,000 Buried In Bathroom Wall At Lakewood Church

Preview: Could the plumber have claimed "finders keepers"?

Posts on Dobbs

Preview: A compendium of my writings on the case.

Germany Bans the Unvaccinated from Restaurants, Shops, and Public Venues

Preview: Plus: Texas' social media censorship law is blocked by a federal judge on First Amendment grounds, federal lawmakers avoid a government shutdown, and more...

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Wisconsin's Democratic Gov. Tony Evers vetoes GOP abortion bills

Preview: MADISON, Wis. (AP) – Wisconsin's Democratic Gov. Tony Evers vetoed five Republican-authored anti-abortion bills on Friday, a day after the U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments in a case that could curtail if not end a woman’s right to abortion. Evers, who is making his support for abortion rights a key ...

National Guard boss tests positive for COVID-19

Preview: A four-star general on the Joint Chiefs of Staff is working remotely after testing positive for COVID-19 this week. Army Gen. Dan Hokanson, chief of the National Guard Bureau, is isolating himself following the test results, a spokesman said Friday. Other members of the National Guard Bureau staff are continuing ...

Democratic Socialists decide against expelling 'Squad' ally in Congress

Preview: The Democratic Socialists of America decided Thursday it will not expel Rep. Jamaal Bowman from its organization after debating whether he was too sympathetic towards Israel. A member of the DSA, Mr. Bowman, New York Democrat, is a first-term lawmaker who won his seat last year, with the support of ...

Mark Turgeon out as Maryland men's basketball coach

Preview: Mark Turgeon is out as Maryland men's basketball coach in the midst of his 11th season leading the Terrapins, the university's athletic department announced Friday. The unexpected move was called "a mutual decision" to part ways between Turgeon and Maryland athletics. "After a series of conversations with coach Turgeon, we ...

Oklahoma sues Biden administration over vaccine mandate for state National Guard

Preview: The state of Oklahoma has sued the Biden administration over a Defense Department mandate that its National Guard forces must get the COVID-19 vaccine, calling it an unconstitutional and dangerous overreach by the federal government. The lawsuit, filed late Thursday, seeks a temporary injunction and a permanent restraining order against ...

Court hears arguments in Trump rape accuser E. Jean Carroll's lawsuit

Preview: NEW YORK (AP) – Lawyers for former President Donald Trump appeared before a federal appeals court Friday to argue that the U.S. government should take his place as the defendant in a defamation lawsuit filed by a writer who accused him of rape. The Republican's attorneys told the judges he ...

Bernie Sanders to Joe Biden: Cut back looming Medicare premium hike

Preview: WASHINGTON (AP) – Sen. Bernie Sanders is asking the White House to cut back a big Medicare premium hike set to take effect in weeks and tied to a pricey Alzheimer's drug whose benefits have been widely questioned. In a letter Friday to President Joe Biden, the Vermont Independent called ...

Where's the snow? Rockies winter starts with a whimper

Preview: DENVER (AP) – Denver's winter has started with a whimper, and the parched mountains to the west aren't faring much better. The Mile High City has already shattered its 87-year-old record for the latest measurable snowfall set on Nov. 21, 1934, and it's a little more than a week away ...

Federal judge allows female soccer player to defend West Virginia ban on transgender athletes

Preview: A federal judge will allow a West Virginia State University women's soccer player to intervene against transgender athletes who in a lawsuit are demanding the right to play women’s sports in the state. District Judge Joseph R. Goodwin said in an order issued Wednesday that Lainey Armistead, a scholarship athlete ...

Drinking water well at Pearl Harbor contaminated with petroleum, Navy says

Preview: A key water well used by military personnel and their families at Pearl Harbor is contaminated with petroleum, Navy officials said late Thursday, sparking what some lawmakers say is a "crisis of astronomical proportions" for tens of thousands of people whose access to clean water is now in question. The ...

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Man Immediately Granted Sainthood After Returning Shopping Cart To Corral

Preview: LOS ANGELES, CA—Local man Mick Paulson was immediately canonized as a Christian saint after he returned his shopping cart to the corral following a grocery shopping trip Friday afternoon. The post Man Immediately Granted Sainthood After Returning Shopping Cart To Corral appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

To Prevent Unnecessary Deaths, Nation Demands Common-Sense Alec Baldwin Control

Preview: U.S.—The nation has begun clamoring for common-sense Alec Baldwin control to curb unnecessary deaths from careless actors gunning down their coworkers on set. The post To Prevent Unnecessary Deaths, Nation Demands Common-Sense Alec Baldwin Control appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Mirror Brought Into Courtroom So Jussie Smollett Can Face His Attackers

Preview: CHICAGO, IL—In a powerful, emotional moment in the Jussie Smollett trial Thursday, a mirror was brought into the courtroom so Smollett could face his attackers for the first time since he was beaten up on the streets of Chicago. The post Mirror Brought Into Courtroom So Jussie Smollett Can Face His Attackers appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

'It's Demo Day!’ Shouts Joel Osteen Taking A Sledgehammer To His Church Walls

Preview: HOUSTON, TX—After contractors discovered hundreds of envelopes full of cash in the walls of Lakewood church, Lakewood's head pastor Joel Osteen has volunteered his services for a much-needed church remodel. The post 'It's Demo Day!’ Shouts Joel Osteen Taking A Sledgehammer To His Church Walls appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Man Excited To Add 2-Cent Gas Savings To The 16 Cents He Saved On July 4

Preview: PEAKS HOLLOW, MT—Local man Hank Grizzle started up his personal savings account strong this year by saving 16 cents on his July 4 BBQ. And his account just got another boost with the 2-cent savings on gas the country has seen over the last two weeks. The post Man Excited To Add 2-Cent Gas Savings To The 16 Cents He Saved On July 4 appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Laid-Off Journalist Trying To Learn To Code Horrified To Discover The Code Is Binary

Preview: NEW YORK, NY—When Huffington Post writer Brutto Chalet discovered he was being let go earlier this year, he decided he was going to do what all Americans do when they lose their job: learn to code. The post Laid-Off Journalist Trying To Learn To Code Horrified To Discover The Code Is Binary appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Wife Stocks Up During One Of Ulta's 17 Sales That Only Happen Once A Year

Preview: MURRIETA, CA—Local wife Amy Walkwell has stocked up on her makeup and beauty supplies once again at her local Ulta store, informing her husband that she had to spend hundreds of dollars right now because the current Ulta sale only happens once a year, 17 times a year. The 17-times-in-a-year opportunity doesn't come every day, she argued, pointing out that if she didn't buy her eyeliner, mascara, and whatever the one for the face skin is, she'd have to wait until roughly three weeks from now for the next sale. "We're saving a ton of money here, and I'll miss out if I don't pick this up now," she said as he dropped her off in front of the store and went to go find a parking spot, where he'd be sitting in his car for roughly an hour. "Really, we're making money if you think about it. Because if I bought it during any of the 42 days of the year where Ulta isn't having a sale, I'd have spent at least 20% more." The post Wife Stocks Up During One Of Ulta's 17 Sales That Only Happen Once A Year appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Good News: We Will Sing God's Praises For All Eternity. Bad News: The Song Is 'Way Maker'

Preview: Well, you win some, and you lose some. The post Good News: We Will Sing God's Praises For All Eternity. Bad News: The Song Is 'Way Maker' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

At SCOTUS Abortion Hearing Biden Administration Calls Expert Witness, Satan

Preview: WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold, yet unsurprising move, the Biden administration presented the case in favor of abortion by calling their first expert witness, Satan.  The post At SCOTUS Abortion Hearing Biden Administration Calls Expert Witness, Satan appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Jussie Smollett Claims He Can’t Be Tried Because Last Night While Walking Home He Was Murdered

Preview: CHICAGO, IL—In a bombshell statement during his court case today, Jussie Smollett declared he can no longer be tried as he was murdered by racists while walking home last night and is now dead.  The post Jussie Smollett Claims He Can’t Be Tried Because Last Night While Walking Home He Was Murdered appeared first on The Babylon Bee.